Category Archives: humor

21 Funny Diet & Weight Loss Quotes (PG-13 Rated!)

Funny diet & weight loss quotes w/ pictures: In life you have to have a sense of humor, especially when it comes to dieting. They say that most diets fail within 7 days, so if you don’t laugh, you might just cry. Here are some funny diet-related pics with captions we put together for your entertainment. (We also have inspirational weight loss quotes, too!) Feel free to print or share!

Funny Weight Loss Quotes:

Feel free to click on any of the pics to print them out or share with others!


Note: Some of the funny quotes above are kind of a crude remix of existing diet quotes I found online; a couple are quotes from celebrities or famous people. Not sure why everyone was being quoted about diets in the 1950’s and 60’s, as I couldn’t find many newer ones. (see below) Anyway, if you have a good diet quote to add, please leave it as a comment!

Some Famous & Funny Diet Quotes:

“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. – quote author unknown

“Today I bought a cupcake without the sprinkles. Diets are hard.” – quote author unknown

“Never eat more than you can lift.” – Miss Piggy

“In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.” – Stephen Phillips

“I’m not afraid of heights, just widths.” – Steven Wright (*Not originally a weight loss quote, but works for dieting!)

funny diet pie chart

“I keep trying to lose weight — but it keeps finding me” – quote author unknown

“We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.” – anonymous quote

“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – anonymous quote

“The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.” – quote source unknown

“The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – unknown diet quote

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More funny weight loss quotes:

“A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” – Tom Wilson

“Obesity is really widespread.” – Joseph O. Kern II

“My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.” – Henny Youngman

“I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.” – Shelley Winters

“Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can’t even get into my own pants.” – unknown diet quote

“I think I just ate my willpower.” – anonymous funny diet quote

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape — isn’t it?” – anonymous funny weight loss quote. Related: source of death & taxes quotation

“To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.” – Mark Twain

“When we lose twenty pounds… we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.” – Woody Allen


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lucky strike ads weight loss

17 Lucky Strike Ads: The ‘Smoking Diet’ for Weight Loss?

lucky strike ad diet

“Facts are irrelevant. What matters is what the consumer believes.” – Seth Godin

Smoking cigarettes gained popularity throughout the 20th Century until sales peaked in the mid-1960’s when it was estimated that over 40% of adults smoked cigarettes! In fact, by 1963 tobacco companies were selling so many cigarettes that on average each adult in America was smoking over a half-pack a day!

This popularity was a direct result of the incredibly successful marketing campaigns of brands like Lucky Strike who made consumers believe that their deadly product was actually healthy. In fact, they often inferred or directly stated that smoking would result in better health, weight loss, and had the approval of thousands of doctors. (20,679 to be exact!)

“Light a Lucky Strike when you are tempted to eat between meals. They satisfy the craving for sweets and rich pastries. That’s why thousands now reducing (dieting) smoke them constantly.” – Luck Strike ad, 1928 

Many of Lucky Strike’s ads made dubious claims about the potential health benefits of smoking including weight loss. One of their most successful campaigns warned women and men to, avoid that future shadow,” inferring that by smoking cigarettes you could stay fit, curb cravings, and avoid your obese and unhealthy destiny.

Here are some vintage Lucky Strike ads promising health benefits and weight loss from a “smoking diet.”

Vintage Lucky Strike ads – Smoking for Weight Loss: “Avoid that Future Shadow”

*Funny to read the fine print in some of these ads, as after the 1920’s they apparently had to put a disclaimer on some of the ads that implied weight loss:

“We do not represent that smoking Lucky Strike cigarettes will bring modern figures or cause the reduction of flesh. We do declare that when tempted to do yourself too well, if you will reach for a Lucky instead, you will thus avoid over-indulgence in things that cause excess weight, and by avoiding over-indulgence, maintain a modern, graceful form.”


Truth: Smoking Actually Causes You to Gain Weight!

“Reach for a Lucky when you crave something sweet. That’s the easiest way I know to avoid getting fat.” – Lucky Strike slogan / ad, 1928

“To keep a slender figure no one can deny, reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet” – Lucky Strike slogan

The bitter irony to Lucky Strike’s claims that smoking has health benefits and promotes weight loss is that exactly the opposite seems to be true.

Besides the obvious fact that 100% of doctors (not on a tobacco company payroll) will agree that smoking is terrible for your health, research also suggests that smoking promotes obesity and weight gain.

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So, why are smokers more likely to be overweight? It seems that smoking cigarettes actually increases the cravings that they supposedly curb. Not only that, but smoking decreases serotonin levels which affects your sense of taste.

The combination of those two factors means that smokers eat more and taste less, which leads to weight gain.

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Research Confirms: Smoking Is Terrible!

lucky strike doctor

“20,679 physicians… The figures quoted have been checked and certified to by Lybrand, Ross Bros. and Montgomery, Accountants and Auditors”

Weight gain is not the worst side effect of smoking, which happens to be death. Despite Lucky Strike’s endorsement from celebrities and 20,679 doctors, Cancer.org concludes that:

“Smoking is by far the leading risk factor for lung cancer. About 80% of lung cancer deaths are thought to result from smoking. The risk for lung cancer among smokers is many times higher than among non-smokers. The longer you smoke and the more packs a day you smoke, the greater your risk.”

Ok, well it’s hard to put a positive spin on that conclusion. Hopefully we can end the debate over whether smoking and air pollution are bad for humans and the Earth, no matter how effective the marketing (or political) campaigns are claiming the contrary! – Kevin m

*Related: Vintage ads for Weight Gain SupplementsFacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterest

fat shaming weight loss ads

Vintage Fat-Shaming Ads from Ry-Krisp (So Bad!)

ry-krisp ad

a little bit offensive?

Vintage fat-shaming adsRy-Krisp was a brand of rye crackers and bread that launched in 1905. While their early ads appealed to Scandinavian immigrants who found comfort in eating the traditional rye crackers, the brand later changed their strategy after being sold to Purina in 1926. Yes, that’s the same Purina that makes dog food, and these old ads for Ry-Krisp were so mean, they’d probably offend most dogs today!

Starting in the 1930’s, Rye-Krisp heavily advertised their products as a “reducing” (aka weight loss) product in magazines that were marketed to women and young girls. The marketing geniuses at Ry-Krisp usually focused on timeless and effective themes like, your husband is going to leave you for a skinny girl,” and “caddie bitches are going to laugh at your fat ass if you don’t buy our product.”

For years they even ran ads like, Nobody loves a fat girl,” (see below) in Seventeen magazine. Wow… That must have done wonders for young girls’ self-esteem!

Check out these offensive, fat-shaming vintage magazine advertisements from the 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s for Ry-Krisp crackers:


Vintage Fat-Shaming weight Loss ads

ry krisp workers

Yum! Ry-Krisp factory in Minneapolis, 1949

Imagine living in a world where unethical corporations preyed on our worst fears and insecurities just to make a buck?

Anyway, to put things in perspective, most of these ads ran over 60 years ago in a world where racism was accepted at the highest level, media damaged self-esteem, and there still hadn’t been a female president. Glad that’s all behind us! 

peta fat shame ad

I thought PETA was kind to mammals like us?

Anyway, at least diet brands have taken the high road in recent times, with the occasional exception such as the Weight Watchers Black lightbulb that makes you look and feel “less fat” during sex.Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterest

vintage weight gain ads women

Vintage Weight-Gain Ads for Women (Yes, Weight GAIN!)

popular curvy weight girlVintage ads for weight gain products: America currently has a $66 billon weight loss industry. That’s 66 billion with a “b” spent by Americans each year in a usually unsuccessful attempt to lose weight with brands like Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem. Even more surprising might be that back in the day there used to be a thriving weight gain industry.

It’s true, supplement brands like WATE-ON told women that skinny was out and they needed to gain weight to attract men. In fact, much of the time time the secret of their weight gain product was “ironized yeast.” (Because if there are three things women like, it’s iron, yeast, and weight gain!) 

Don’t believe me? Here are some of the best vintage advertisements promising women weight gain from the 1930s, 1940’s, and 1950s that we could find.


Vintage Ads Promising Weight Gain and Extra Pounds for Women:

 

“So Cosmo says you’re fat
Well I ain’t down with that! – Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-a-lot

no skinny scarecrow girl

It’s funny how things change, but remember that history repeats. Sure, we’re not going to be worshipping the “morbidly obese” body type in Hollywood any time soon, but our definition of the ideal female body changes all the time.

Also, the women in these old ads were by no means “obese,” but certainly are “overweight” compared to today’s magazine models.

We’re Trending Back Towards “Curvy” w/ Female Bodies

You’ve probably noticed that there’s a swing back towards natural and curvy recently, and away from the nearly anorexic bodies of the 1990’s and 2000’s. This is evident with the new trend in plus-size models, and ground-breaking overweight SI swimsuit cover model Ashley Graham:

overweight woman si swimsuit

Oh, and here’s a product for the men out there, although that guy seems to have a bigger problem than just being skinny!

weight gain men vintage advert

Article by Kevin MFacebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterest

first mcdonalds tv commercial

First McDonalds TV Commercial w/ Ronald McDonald (So Creepy!)

First ever commercial for McDonalds: If you’re looking for a way to scare your kids straight into eating healthy, this original McDonalds commercial might help. Apparently that’s the first Ronald McDonald, although he looks more like a clown that has crawled out of a dumpster in my nightmares!

Behold the first ever McDonalds commercial to air on TV:

First McDonalds Commercial on TV (1963)

Narrator: Introducing the world’s newest, silliest, and hamburger-eatingest clown, Ronald McDonald! Now, where is that clown? Oh, Ronald… Ronald…” 

Ronald McDonald: Here I am kids! (Ahhhhhh!!!) Hey, isn’t watching TV fun? Especially when you got delicious McDonald’s hamburgers!

Narrator: Ronald, you can’t be on TV and watch it at the same time! Now come on and meet the boys and girls!”

Ronald McDonald: Oh, we’ve already met. I know we’re going to be friends, too, ’cause I like to do everythinig boys and girls like to do, especially when it comes to eating those delicious McDonalds hamburgers. A magic tray here keeps me well-supplied, McDonalds hamburgers, fries, and milk shakes. Watch for me on TV, we’ll have lots of fun! (Squeek! Squeek!)

Jingle: He’s Ronald McDonald, the hamburger-happy clown… a McDonalds drive-in restaurant, is his favorite place in town!

*Where is he eating those hamburgers? Is that a child’s bedroom?


So Creepy… Hey, That’s Willard Scott!

first ronald mcdonald willard scott
first ronald mcdonald willard scott

Yes, the creepy clown is none other than Willard Scott who was asked to come up with a character similar to Bozo the Clown, whose show had just gone off the air. Willard would later become famous as the weatherman for NBC’s Today Show, although McDonalds never credited him with originating the character of Ronald McDonald.

If you’re over 40, you might remember that Willard would always wish really old people (100+ years old) a “Happy Birthday” after his weather report, sponsored by Smuckers.

Anyway, you wouldn’t have guessed from the first commercial, but McDonalds would go on to become a $130 billion dollar company, selling over 300 billion burgers! (And Weight Watchers would become a billion dollar company just trying to take them off your body!) 

Hmmm… That means that if original clown, Willard Scott, could have gotten a royalty of just a penny per burger sold for creating Ronald McDonald, the company would now owe him over 3 billion dollars. Now, that’s scary! 

*Related: Here’s How McDonalds Portion Sizes Have Grown |  Is Donald Trump at Risk of Heart Attack?

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